eggshell | recourt overflow

[Dear Randolph,

Have you ever thought of how insane that sentence is?

Kind Regards,
Anyone normal who is Not Dan Feng]

We will need to find a way. I have rarely wanted to sleep with anyone I did not intend to kill after. Until then, I will refrain from using you as an incubator.

[he's a kinky fucker, ok. he's a kinky fucker and has accepted high levels of base derangement here.]

Hhahh...

[the waver in his voice is fully, clearly arousal, but he clears his throat.]

'Kay. So until then, condoms. Maybe one on each dick.

[Dan Feng looks up at him. Looks down between them. Measures an unknown distance from Randy's crotch to his navel.]

Each? If you would take all of me without injury you would need to be stretched with a fist.

[swallows hard.]

And?

I do not think we should talk about this before we find protection.

Right. Okay. Condomquest.

[Dan Feng smacks him in the chest before shoving him off, ears red as he stomps out of the shrine.

He stops though, waits for Randy to catch up, so he can turn to him woodenly and ask,]

Where do we find. Those.

Pretty sure the shops have 'em.

[Yanking him in the direction of the shops.

Stops in the middle of the road.]

How do you know have you been having relations with anyone else.

Babe I'm kinda a slut.

Give me your phone.

Why?

I want to see who you have been talking to.

[The wide eyed look on his face says so I can kill them.]

I ain't really been using my phone, honey. Also, stop that.

Don't call me that when I'm mad at you and want to break your ribs open and sit in your stomach cavity and sleep in your viscera and.

[He trails off. Blinks at him.]

Stop what.

Stop being jealous out of nowhere. You just got me.

I acquire a lot of things but I have never been able to keep anything.

We've been over that. But you can't just take your jealousy out on others retroactively.

Why not?

It's not fair and it'll piss me off.

Why should I care about what my things feel?

Because I care about what you feel.

[He's visibly thinking about this...]

So if I do not care about your feelings you will stop caring about mine.

Probably not entirely. It's not a threat. It's just harder to care when it ain't mutual.

[He'd rather die than admit he really does not want to lose Randy's attention, but then again he'd rather die than most things, if not all. The point is that he stares at Randy owlishly for about five more seconds than socially acceptable, before turning his nose up and hmphing his way onward without further complaint.]

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