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[Yeah sure he can see those ears. He's SO carefully not commenting on it. Or moving. He's very very very still and his face is red as a cherry.]

R-Right... hmm.

[the last time he was this close to jing yuan there was a not insignificant amount of violence and he could feel it and the urge to bite and the urge to make him cry and the urge to make him scream and the urge to fuck every single brain cell out of his ears for the first time and

okay.]

These are so impractical. [he says, carefully even, even if his hands are shaking visibly as he stands back up. his mouth is a thin line across the paleness of his face.] Dan Heng helped you into them, then?

Yes.

[He should probably lie about that, given Dan Feng's expression, but what's the point? He's mad, not stupid, and the other reminders of Dan Heng are still there -- the freshly re-darkened marks on Jing Yuan's skin and the lingering scent of him.]

We should consider blindfolding you. It helps Jingliu.

[he looks up.

jing yuan will be able to see dan feng's pupils immediately constrict into slits, and he looks at jing yuan, almost helplessly, for a long moment, before he reaches behind himself and digs his fingers violently into the bandaged gouges on that tail.]

One moment. [he whispers, turning around to rummage through the mess of medical supplies on a rickety desk, looking for more bandages to use as a blindfold.]

[He flinches when Dan Feng hurts himself that way, but doesn't stop him. He lets him walk away, taking a moment to kick the boots off the rest of the way. Then he just leans in the doorway to watch him.

It hasn't stopped being heartbreakingly surreal to see him solid and alive. The grief is sharp in his chest.]

[he finds a fresh roll of gauze, and quickly wraps it twice around his head. it's not enough to block his vision completely, but he is not blinding himself around someone who wears the face of his favorite murderer.]

Ah. [he turns back around, holding his heavy sleeves close, a motion borne from centuries of accidentally knocking things off desks.] That does help.

I can still smell him on you, but we smell mostly the same, so that is fine. You can come in.

[Jing Yuan is not mara-struck, but he's still feeling a powerful urge to reach out and touch Dan Feng. That's just plain old nostalgia and longing. He settles for approaching slowly, hovering just barely out of reach.]

Thank you. Will you tell me what happened?

[he debates saying it was- wild animals, or some other injury, or-]

Aphelios was hungry.

So he ate you!?

[shrugging! he's gonna go skirt around jing yuan to sit on his bed/nest/crumpled up bedding situation.]

I did kill him. [in a quieter voice:] It is not the first time someone has sought me for such.

...I gave him advice on how to fight you. But he didn't say anything about taking bites out of you.

[He may as well admit his crime...]

[it happens faster than he can stop it: his good tail uncoils from where it was in the process of wriggling under pillows, and snaps out- aiming to whap jing yuan on a thigh, with the fluffy tip.]

[There's a sharp cracking sound when the tail thwacks him, and Jing Yuan jumps -- but he doesn't look upset about it. He's not taking it as an actual attack, just a scolding.]

Ow! I was very angry at you at the time, you know!

[he holds up both hands, palms facing jing yuan:]

Stop. Stop, give me a - give me another moment. [the tail retreats, and obediently drapes over dan feng's lap. he inhales.]

[He goes quiet and still when asked to, of course. Dan Feng can't help the madness, so if Jing Yuan wants to be close to him he's going to have to do his part to help with it. He waits, patiently, just as he's always waited.]

What is the point of this? [he murmurs, bitterly.] I might have to be like this every time we see each other. I may never be able to untangle you from him. I may always have the urge to hurt you. This is folly.

...I know it is.

[Dan Feng is not wrong. This is doomed to be messy at best. It's stupid. Jing Yuan should be staying as far away as possible. But...]

But I am selfish. I watched my Dan Feng die. I stood by and let him go-- It is folly, but I cannot bear to let you go too. Even Dan Heng understands that, and refused to condemn it.

[dan feng looks down at the hands folded over his tail, on his lap. the sigh is exasperated, but now completely devoid of malice.]

Next thing you would tell me is that he has reconciled with Blade.

Not yet.

[His laugh is soft, tired, and tinged with sorrow, but there's a cautious affection in it, too.]

But who knows? There is more reason in him, too, than he's been given credit for.

...Unfortunately, the reasonable part of him is just as infuriating as his old self ever was.

[And the grumpy pout on Jing Yuan's face is exactly the same as when he was a boy, frustrated by being bested by Yingxing.]

[the gauze can't quite hide that pout, and it sends a wave of nostalgia so strong through dan feng that it warms him all the way through his chest.]

Sit next to me?

If you can manage.

[He comes and perches on the edge of the bed, on alert for signs of danger but still very much willing to be close. Despite his better judgement.]

Mm.

[he leans in, reaches into the crumpled bedding, to retrieve a-

hunting knife.

he points it at jing yuan for about two seconds longer than he has to, before flipping it deftly in his hand and holding it, handle out, to him.]

[Sir???

He tenses while the knife is in Dan Feng's hand, ready to flee. But then he flips it, and Jing Yuan takes it with a sigh of relief. Good. No violence just yet.]

What do you want me to do with this?

In case I, you know.

[he shrugs, looking way too comfortable for someone who just gave the love of his life carte blanche to give him grievous injury.]

But do give it back when you leave, I like how it handles.

Alright.

[That's understandable -- giving it to Jing Yuan, anyway. Because this one has no reason or desire to use it.]

I'm glad you have it. I'd rather not see you hurt more than necessary.

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