[Dan Feng goes down like a sack of popoto, and reacts just like one too: he doesn't. He sort of focuses on Megumi for a moment, before his eyes slide to the side, taking whatever she's going to give him.]
[ Getting him on his back and pinning her hands down on his shoulders. ]
What in the hells are you on?! Did you knock your head against the wall more than once?! Why're you acting like some sorry character in a Yanxian Tragedy Drama all of a sudden?!
[It's like propping up and cleaning off a six-foot ball jointed doll thrown into the recycling heap.]
He said- [He seems to have trouble focusing on her face, so he just looks down at her knees.] Why would anyone-- I'm sorry. I can tell now. Only the strangling was real.
[ How her heart races in that moment, her ears lowering... she's not sure what to focus on, except for the echo of what he's saying, embracing her own emotions that she's been pushing aside for days.
( I dreamt that I loved you )
Focus. She has to focus. ]
But.. But you are betrothed! He's been so happy! So has Dan Heng!! They're delighted at the thought of being with you! Surely...
[ The words spill out, shaky, as she looks at him. ]
How can it be a dream? I'm right here. Dan Feng... Why would I be here if I didn't love you, too?
[Now he comes alive, of a sort - his hands come up to push at her shoulders, to bear her down into the dirt, covering her with his bulk. His tail winds up high behind him, lashing at nothing.]
What sweet words you say, that will turn to poison on a whim. Such are the natures of my delusions.
[ Damn it... she only struggles a little, mostly to get herself in a position she needs to escape from and she moves her hands up to his chest ]
Of course I'm here! There's no swiving delusion in this! Jing Yuan loves you, Dan Heng loves you— They were willing to find a way to be with you somewhere that wasn't where you began!!
How dare you doubt them?? How dare you doubt my feelings after all I've allowed?! Do you think I'd let just anyone treat me this way?!
[ She clutches the front of his clothing. ]
What made you think like this? Tell me! Did— did someone say something to hurt you?
Kaine just said the truth. [He braces a hand over her breastbone, eyes unfocusing, focusing again - he's struggling. His pupils are so dilated his eyes are nearly fully golden.] I'd been dreaming all along. There is nobody in their right mind who should give me the time of day. Why should they? I am a murderer.
[ Kaine... she pales when she hears his name, her heart hammering in her chest. Why would Kaine...
No, she knows why. She knows exactly why. And that's what makes this more difficult because she understands that Kaine's correlation of Dan Feng to his father made him more than likely to lash out at him... ]
Dan Feng. Kaine... doesn't know. All this time I've been sneaking you in- to see me, to see Jing Yuan and Dan Heng. Just so he won't be upset. He has his reasons. I won't say he's wrong for it.
[ She moves her hands to his wrists, clutching them but not tightly— just enough to remind him of when she held him down. ]
But we wouldn't take that chance if we didn't want to be with you. We wouldn't even let you in if we thought you were anything worse.
And we don't. Except when you are.
[ She'll draw his hands off and to the sides of her neck, covering them with hers. ]
I told you I'd kill you myself if you tried to hurt me in a way I don't want. So I know you won't risk my anger- or Jing Yuan's and Dan Heng's. You know how upset we'd all be.
You'd hurt if I truly died too. You know I'm here. You can feel mine breaths. You know I'm here.
[The repetition is important, because it's the only way to make sure it gets to Dan Feng, who no longer had the capability to think far enough into the future beyond the immediate consequences of his actions. There was no point, for someone who had an endless, cruel eternity before him.]
I like seeing you upset. [He whispers, his thumbs pressing unerringly into the arteries of her neck. Enough to be a warning. His fingers tremble violently against her skin.] I like seeing you angry. I like seeing you smile, I like seeing you laugh, I like seeing you breathe, I like seeing you under me, over me, with me, I like - [Dan Feng rattles a wheeze.] You promised you'd bring me back. Kill me or I will kill you.
[ This is such a risk. If he snaps and kills her, there's a chance she won't return. There's a chance she'll be held here and not see her children again...
There's a chance she'll never see any of Sloth or any of the people she's found herself loving here, as friends and more... but her fingers subtly move over his wrists, ready to move under his hands so even if he applies pressure, he's unlikely to damage her windpipe. However...
She just watches him quietly. ]
If you kill me, I may disappear for good. Then you'll never see any of it again. Be upset... be angry. Smile and laugh. Breathe. [ Each word is spoken pointedly. ] Under... over... with. And I won't get to see you do any of that either. Most importantly... I won't get to tell you I love you again.
[ Her tail wraps around his waist as she lifts one hand to his cheek. ]
So... if you take my breaths, I expect you to give me yours. If it makes you happy to have mine, you owe me yours too. If I have to bring you back, then so do you. Dan Feng.
Can you do that? Or will you lose me forever?
Edited (Hit enter too fast) 2024-05-04 16:49 (UTC)
[There is a long, fraught moment- Dan Feng's panting starts to be edged with hysteria as his grip tightens- before he lets go, to clutch at his head as he twists to slump beside her, heels scrabbling into the dirt.]
I don't- [He reaches for her skirts, fists a hand in the fabric.] I can't lose anyone else. You can't go. Don't leave me. [He grabs for her, desperate, her hand, her arm, shoulder, anything, eyes fracturing with tears.] Megumi. Please don't leave me.
[ She exhales softly, getting up as he moves off and letting him grab at her. Somehow it's easier to be calm like this, and she reaches for his hands to keep them still, but then-
She moves her face close to push their foreheads together and purr. ]
Idiot... then keep me with you. As long as we're here in this cursed place, or otherwise.
[ She doesn't expect to see Jing Yuan and Dan Heng and him once they leave for the world they've chosen, should that happen. ]
If you ever want a home on Hydaelyn... Etheirys... you'll find me there, too. So come back to me here, too. And don't doubt that I'll love you just as much wherever you'll be.
[There's the sliver of his old petulance there, as he leans into her, foreheads pressed together. His hands curl cold into hers, between them.]
Even if you are just the waxing of the moon, I will rise with the tide to meet you. [How blessed he is, to have recovered enough of a heart to share beyond his obsessions. He tilts his head, and closes the distance between them with a kiss, warm and a little wet with tears.]
[ That warms her- the part of her that puts her faith in Menphina cherishing his words, and she squeezes his hands before he moves to kiss her— and she returns it fully, tasting the tears on his mouth and savoring it all.
She doesn't withhold her own emotions there, kissing him until he's breathless, and when he finally does focus, she wiggles her ears at him. ]
[He pulls back just enough so he can look at her face without going cross-eyed, and she can watch in real time as he starts to flush a violent shade of red, realizing what he'd just confessed.]
[ Ah, there he is. She pulls back just enough to watch the change in his expression, and her sweet smile turns devilish— followed by a flick of her ears.
And she dramatically raises a hand to her cheek- ]
Goodness, we did. And here you insisted 'twouldn't happen... my, my. I'm all a-flutter, Dan Feng.
[ Acting like a shite should help bring him back to normal... she also wipes his cheek with her free hand. Don't cry, big old man grandpa baby who she loves... ]
[Like any self-respecting, emotionally repressed immortal, he shies away from her touch, at first- before pushing into it, needy.]
It is because I. [He opens his arms, making grabby hands at her, a gesture incongruent with how formal and intimidating his robes are.] I do want all of I have said. I meant them. But before this place, I did not understand what it was like to love someone without hating them.
[ She gives his cheek a squeeze with her palm and moves in to press her cheek against his chest, and draws her arms around his waist instead. What do you have this beautiful waist for, Dan Feng, to grab? Slut. ]
What changed? I know you've others here besides Jing Yuan and Dan Heng, but... what changed with us?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
midwesternmayhem
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
What in the hells are you on?! Did you knock your head against the wall more than once?! Why're you acting like some sorry character in a Yanxian Tragedy Drama all of a sudden?!
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[He turns his head and stares up at her.]
Are you real?
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[ She relaxes her hold, ears lowering in confusion. ]
Of course I'm real, you oaf. I've sat on you like this many times already.
[ Give her a moment. She's going to help him sit up and dust the grass and dirt off him. ]
What's wrong?
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
He said- [He seems to have trouble focusing on her face, so he just looks down at her knees.] Why would anyone-- I'm sorry. I can tell now. Only the strangling was real.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[ Dusting off her hands and holding his face. ]
Look at me. What happened?
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[His head lolls in her palms, almost like he's sleepy.]
I dreamt that I loved you.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
( I dreamt that I loved you )
Focus. She has to focus. ]
But.. But you are betrothed! He's been so happy! So has Dan Heng!! They're delighted at the thought of being with you! Surely...
[ The words spill out, shaky, as she looks at him. ]
How can it be a dream? I'm right here. Dan Feng... Why would I be here if I didn't love you, too?
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[Now he comes alive, of a sort - his hands come up to push at her shoulders, to bear her down into the dirt, covering her with his bulk. His tail winds up high behind him, lashing at nothing.]
What sweet words you say, that will turn to poison on a whim. Such are the natures of my delusions.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
Of course I'm here! There's no swiving delusion in this! Jing Yuan loves you, Dan Heng loves you— They were willing to find a way to be with you somewhere that wasn't where you began!!
How dare you doubt them?? How dare you doubt my feelings after all I've allowed?! Do you think I'd let just anyone treat me this way?!
[ She clutches the front of his clothing. ]
What made you think like this? Tell me! Did— did someone say something to hurt you?
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
1/2
No, she knows why. She knows exactly why. And that's what makes this more difficult because she understands that Kaine's correlation of Dan Feng to his father made him more than likely to lash out at him... ]
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[ She moves her hands to his wrists, clutching them but not tightly— just enough to remind him of when she held him down. ]
But we wouldn't take that chance if we didn't want to be with you. We wouldn't even let you in if we thought you were anything worse.
And we don't. Except when you are.
[ She'll draw his hands off and to the sides of her neck, covering them with hers. ]
I told you I'd kill you myself if you tried to hurt me in a way I don't want. So I know you won't risk my anger- or Jing Yuan's and Dan Heng's. You know how upset we'd all be.
You'd hurt if I truly died too. You know I'm here. You can feel mine breaths. You know I'm here.
[ The repetition is important. ]
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
I like seeing you upset. [He whispers, his thumbs pressing unerringly into the arteries of her neck. Enough to be a warning. His fingers tremble violently against her skin.] I like seeing you angry. I like seeing you smile, I like seeing you laugh, I like seeing you breathe, I like seeing you under me, over me, with me, I like - [Dan Feng rattles a wheeze.] You promised you'd bring me back. Kill me or I will kill you.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
There's a chance she'll never see any of Sloth or any of the people she's found herself loving here, as friends and more... but her fingers subtly move over his wrists, ready to move under his hands so even if he applies pressure, he's unlikely to damage her windpipe. However...
She just watches him quietly. ]
If you kill me, I may disappear for good. Then you'll never see any of it again. Be upset... be angry. Smile and laugh. Breathe. [ Each word is spoken pointedly. ] Under... over... with. And I won't get to see you do any of that either. Most importantly... I won't get to tell you I love you again.
[ Her tail wraps around his waist as she lifts one hand to his cheek. ]
So... if you take my breaths, I expect you to give me yours. If it makes you happy to have mine, you owe me yours too. If I have to bring you back, then so do you. Dan Feng.
Can you do that? Or will you lose me forever?
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
I don't- [He reaches for her skirts, fists a hand in the fabric.] I can't lose anyone else. You can't go. Don't leave me. [He grabs for her, desperate, her hand, her arm, shoulder, anything, eyes fracturing with tears.] Megumi. Please don't leave me.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
She moves her face close to push their foreheads together and purr. ]
Idiot... then keep me with you. As long as we're here in this cursed place, or otherwise.
[ She doesn't expect to see Jing Yuan and Dan Heng and him once they leave for the world they've chosen, should that happen. ]
If you ever want a home on Hydaelyn... Etheirys... you'll find me there, too. So come back to me here, too. And don't doubt that I'll love you just as much wherever you'll be.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[There's the sliver of his old petulance there, as he leans into her, foreheads pressed together. His hands curl cold into hers, between them.]
Even if you are just the waxing of the moon, I will rise with the tide to meet you. [How blessed he is, to have recovered enough of a heart to share beyond his obsessions. He tilts his head, and closes the distance between them with a kiss, warm and a little wet with tears.]
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
She doesn't withhold her own emotions there, kissing him until he's breathless, and when he finally does focus, she wiggles her ears at him. ]
Welcome home then, my little Menace.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[He pulls back just enough so he can look at her face without going cross-eyed, and she can watch in real time as he starts to flush a violent shade of red, realizing what he'd just confessed.]
I- ah? I, we, did we just-
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
And she dramatically raises a hand to her cheek- ]
Goodness, we did. And here you insisted 'twouldn't happen... my, my. I'm all a-flutter, Dan Feng.
[ Acting like a shite should help bring him back to normal... she also wipes his cheek with her free hand. Don't cry, big old man grandpa baby who she loves... ]
Looks like so are you.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[Like any self-respecting, emotionally repressed immortal, he shies away from her touch, at first- before pushing into it, needy.]
It is because I. [He opens his arms, making grabby hands at her, a gesture incongruent with how formal and intimidating his robes are.] I do want all of I have said. I meant them. But before this place, I did not understand what it was like to love someone without hating them.
Re: « Day 27 - Nebulous Time »
[ She gives his cheek a squeeze with her palm and moves in to press her cheek against his chest, and draws her arms around his waist instead. What do you have this beautiful waist for, Dan Feng, to grab? Slut. ]
What changed? I know you've others here besides Jing Yuan and Dan Heng, but... what changed with us?
[ Now she's the blushy one. ]